Marriage – What’s That?
It seems the world is going through so many changes so rapidly these days that it’s almost impossible to keep up. With technology and the internet there’s no way anyone can escape all of the news about the economy, natural disasters and…well, yeh what’s going on in the marriage arena.
If you look up some ideas surrounding marriage on the internet, you will find many. Many have pictures of men bowing down to the woman, the man running. There was one where a woman says “Your dating became more important than my marriage”. Basically, that all boils down to the theory of women want kids and security and so they seek it out through marriage with men. Men, well they just want to conquer the world by making money and sleeping with as many women as possible (at least as far as if they are an attractive or sexually desirable male). So you can see the slight conflict in that to where there’s no mystery surrounding divorce. There’s another saying that is popular which is “a successful marriage requires you to fall in love always with the same person.” I’m not sure why you would need marriage to fall in love w/the same person over & over? I think just many a broken heart and stupidity would be required for that, lol. Oh and don’t forget the parent theory. Do we just try to replace or find parent’s within our spouses?
One of the hugest changes to marriage these days is the new legislation that is allowing same sex marriage. I personally am all for equal rights for everyone, but there’s no doubt that allowing others outside of men and women to marry will change the face of and ideas around marriage as if the concept is not already confusing enough. One of the biggest arguments for same sex marriage was that it is unfair for only heterosexual couples to have access to the legal benefits that marriage brings. I agree, however all of this really calls into question of what is marriage really? Should marriage be based around “love”? Is it meant to be a pillar in society that involves certain morals and religious beliefs used to procreate and keep families in tact? Or is it really more of a business proposition that simply gives one population of people more rights within the legal system? Seriously, what is marriage really, who defines it and how much power do we give it?
Another factor in marriage is Hollywood. While Hollywood attempts to tell us what love and marriage should be and look like, it doesn’t do such a great job at making it last. It boggles my brain how marriage is such a huge industry now where people spend so much money on weddings and divorces, yet so many shrug their shoulders when it comes to any real know how when it comes to the concept of it. We spend more on weddings and our divorce rate is higher now than ever before. Marriage these days (at least here in the United States) seems much less about commitment, for better or for worse and more like a status symbol…the next cool thing to be had. Don’t people know that after the wedding, honeymoon and all the “pretty things” that shine, comes responsibility, sacrifice and dealing with not only your own sets of problems and issues, but also the ones of another? It’s funny how so many seem so eager to sign up for that train ride (or wreck). Of course I’m thinking about Kim Kardashian at this very moment. And what about Prince William and Kate? Even though they seem to love each other, will that be enough? Will the pressure that their marriage is surrounded by create a diamond or just leave a bunch of broken pieces for them to possibly spend the rest of their lives picking up? While she seems to be getting the biggest piece of cake (marrying a prince ya know?), will she be able to endure the huge responsibility that comes with that? Will she be able to spend the rest of her life living in that pretty box with no room to grow or become anything different? My stomach hurts from just thinking about getting that piece of cake.
Recently Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith (that’s another thing, what are women doing with these last name “things”) were under the divorce spotlight. Will their marriage pass or fail? Was it just a false alarm? They and their marriage seem to have been put on some type of “marriage” pedestal. They are the apitamy of love and what a healthy relationship should be, feel and look like, right? They and their marriage seem to be part of the unspoken “married club” in Hollywood. I’d like to call them the “do gooders”, the “sparklin’ shiner’s”. They have surrounded themselves with the other married’s like Victoria & David Beckam, Tom & Katie Cruise and until recently, Marc and Jennifer Lopez. Never mind the fact that many of them have been previously married (a definite indicator of future divorce). They are the Hollywood married untouchables of sorts…hmmm.
I don’t know what to make of all of this, but it definitely leaves me to question what marriage is, where does it’s power come from and how much validity in today’s world it has. I know that less people seem to be getting married, there are more singles than there are marrieds (even though it definitely doesn’t seem that way) and if people do marry, they marry later in life. Yet, there is still this huge power that coupledom and thoughts and ideas that surround marriage seem to have over people and within society. One thing that I do know is that the idea of “forever” not only seems unrealistic in today’s world, but it also doesn’t seem appealing to many either. It seems more like a silent sentence, death with no way out, misery, a quick way to be smothered and hate another person unless you can create a different understanding of things. Either way, it seems if people are marrying for “rights” or “love”, I sort of think they will divorce for similar reasons.
